Conversations from the Batcave
by polysgirl
Summary: A sequel to Faith, as requested : This is also my rqfic challenge for November.


**Challenge #: November (Advice)**  
**Author: Lindsay (polysgirl)**  
**Title: Conversations from the BatCave**  
**Rating: G**

**Spoilers/Warnings: through TS.**

As always, the characters belong to the lovely Janet and I have yet to figure out how to bat-nap Ranger. Someday, my love, we will be together...yum... :-)

This story is a sequel to a songfic-of-a-sort I wrote last week called Faith, which integrates many of the lyrics of Hedley's song Gunnin'. It can be found on PFF under Lindsay or on I think Faith is a stronger piece than this one - if anything I find this one is almost anti-climatic and I'm not real happy with it, but it'll do. I don't have the brainpower to figure out how to make it better, so I'll leave it here and tweak it when I figure out why I don't like it. Bah.

_..."But the batcave is forever."_

"_So are you, babe." He pulled me into a hug and tucked my head under his chin. "So are you." _

_(from Faith)_

**Conversations from the Batcave**

**a sequel to Faith**

Hm...I thought to myself. Healthy food. Healthy food. More Healthy food. Corona. More healthy food. What the hell is this green stuff? Probably yet more healthy food. And... hey - is that chocolate? No freaking way. Batman has chocolate in the batcave. Be still, my heart. Ok, so maybe I should quit inspecting Ranger's fridge. I sighed, grabbed two Corona's, and pushed the door shut with my foot on my way out of the kitchen. I crossed through the living room, looking at the deep mahoghany coloring of the furniture and marvelling at how well it suited Ranger. The fire place, with mortared stone, looked authentically old, and the shelves and shelves of books made it seem even more homey. I made a mental note to go through the bookshelves later. Hey, he gave me the keys to the batcave, that also means he gave me free reign to comb through it, right? I felt like a kid in a candy store.

I slid the patio doors open and stepped onto the stone walkway. I opted for barefoot and crossed the grass to where Ranger had two lounge chairs set out.

"You'd think you were expecting me." I observed from behind him, handing him a beer over his shoulder.

Ranger reached up and grabbed the beer, brushing his fingers over my hand as he did. A jolt went through my body. "Got the chair out while you were snooping through my fridge."

"Oops." I said. Busted. "Were you expecting me?" I persisted. Hey, I wanted to know.

"I was pretty sure you'd need to get away. That was a pretty close call, and Morelli looked like he was ready to go on the war-path."

Yeah. He was. "I don't want to talk about Morelli." I said, my mood falling back into miserable. I started to feel teary again. And my arm was throbbing.

"Babe." Ranger said softly. One word, but I knew exactly what he meant. Compassion, Comfort.

It was tempting to let myself feel sad, but I hated hurting so I opted for denial land, shoved my feelings aside and changed the subject. "When did you become Mr. Sensitivity, anyway?" I demanded, flopping down on the lounge chair. Ranger laughed softly, but didn't answer. I popped the top off of my beer and took a long swallow before lying back and closing my eyes. I sighed, and let all thoughts filter from my head. The sun was warm, and it's heat seeped through my skin and made me feel cozy. I could feel myself dozing off, the peaceful lull of birds and Ranger's quiet breathing in the background. Ranger's presence, two feet away from me, was soothing. A balm upon my soul.

That thought made me start to think that maybe the sun was frying brain cells I didn't have left to fry. I tried to pry my eyes open, but gave up in favor of basking in the sun. I did, however, have to ask one more question. "Why here?"

"What do you mean?"

"When you have safe houses, why give me keys to the batcave? Especially when you guard your privacy so well? And...And...and the batcave is forever." I stammered.

"I trust you. And I told you. You're forever too."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I demanded.

Ranger chuckled. "Whatever you want it to mean. It means you're in my life forever in some way."

"What way?"

"I haven't figured that out yet."

"Oh." I said. And then I went back to the matter of privacy. "Doesn't my being here invade your privacy? "

"Babe, you're disturbing my peace and quiet, but you aren't even making a wrinkle in my privacy."

Food for thought. I decided to quit disturbing his peace and quiet for a while. That was a lot to think about. How can I not being invading his privacy when I'm here? If i'm here, he's not alone, if he's not alone, it's not private, right? I snooped through his fridge, for crying out loud. I twisted my head around it for a while, but finally gave up as I dozed off in the heat of the sun. I dozed for a while, and dreamed of Joe...and then I woke up and I thought about Joe. I didn't know what to do. I knew i didn't want a relationship anymore - we were spinning in circles and going nowhere. I thought about Joe's ultimatums, if I wanted X I had to give up Y, Y usually being my job, sometimes being Ranger. I always had to give something up. I thought about that, in relation to Ranger's once made comment about how there was no price on what we give each other. That sounded so much nicer. Why didn't Joe get that? I loved Joe. I loved Ranger too, of course, but... I loved Joe. And we were done. I knew it, I felt it in my heart. But my heart wasn't happy with either answer. And I didn't want to go back monday and face him, and face the questions about where I went this weekend, the demands over my job. I didn't want the fight. It hurt. I wanted to sit and watch a Ranger's game and drink beer and eat pizza, and goof around and just chill. I wanted us to be best friends. Hell, I could even see us being married...except that we can never agree, never compromise. Except that there is a price for that relationship. I don't know that there are supposed to be prices. And if there are, why should I be the only one having to pay them? Shouldn't it be a compromise? I don't know. It hurt to think about. I rolled over and curled into a ball on the lounge chair, trying to hide from my own thoughts. But they wouldn't go away, and I kept turning the situation over in my head. I started slightly when I felt weight behind me. As the weight laid down with me, I realized it was Ranger. He kissed my ear and spooned me from behind, offering me comfort. I'm not sure how he knew. A tear slipped out and I silently cursed myself. I was way too emotional lately. I was tired of dealing with things. I was tired of the lectures, of unwanted advice.

That reminded me. "When do I get your lecture?"

"Lecture?"

"C'mon Ranger," I said bitterly, even though he maybe didn't deserve it. "You and Joe run neck and neck in the race of no confidence. You just get the one of the guys to tail me, or track my car, or whatever. And you always lecture me about being aware of my surroundings, being more careful, my gun, and everything else. But now... you're being Mr. sensitivity, and I'm scared it means I'll get an even bigger lecture later. And I can't handle anything else right now." Oh shit. I shouldn't have drank that beer.

Rangers arms tightened around me. "You're cracking, babe. You don't need a lecture right now. And you've already given it to yourself just now anyhow. The only thing you missed is you need to exercise caution instead of jumping into everything head first without checking for rocks at the bottom of the pond."

"So I can look forward to the lecture later."

"You can look forward to advice later. You don't need the lecture."

"I need to exercise caution." I sighed. His arms felt good around me, but I was a bit hurt.

"You wouldn't be my babe if you didn't take life by the horns and run with it."

I thought about that for a while. Ranger shifted and it felt like he was going to get up, so I tightened my arms around his, silently asking him to stay. He settled back with me, his thumb rubbing circles on my stomach. It was doing things to me...

"What's the advice?"

"I'm still working on it. Haven't quite figured out how to advise you to exercise caution without stiffling your headstrongness."

"So why not just stifle it? Everyone else does." I huffed bitterly.

"Because." Well, that didn't answer much, did it?

"What about the whole "Stephanie's an unstoppable force and trying to stop her just causes a fight"?" I asked.

"That too." Ranger said.

"Good to know I'm such a pain in the ass." I sighed, and moved to get up. Ranger's arms tightened around me.

"Because." He said again, and leaned over and kissed my temple, before settling me back in his arms. "You wouldn't be my babe anymore."

"Oh." I said. That sounded nice. I rested back against him and hugged his arms tighter around me. I think we dozed for a while.

0123

I woke up to my phone ringing. The ring-tone was Joe's. I sighed, and dropped my arm to feel around in the grass for the phone. Finding it, I snapped it open. "It's not monday yet?" I said groggily.

"Where are you?"

"On vacation for the weekend. Why?"

"Because, Cupcake, you left without a word."

"And we're not supposed to be talking until monday. What's your point?"

"Where are you?" he asked again. I didn't answer. "Oh shit. You're with him aren't you? Look, cupcake. I want us to work. I love you. But maybe we don't even need the weekend. Or maybe you do. I don't know. But if we're going to make a go of this, I can't handle your job, or your relationship with him. You're going to have to find a different job, at least apply for the job at the department, and distance yourself from Ranger."

I was uncomfortably aware of Ranger, behind me, close enough to hear both sides of this conversation. Joe continued to talk "That's the concession you need to make to make our relationship work."

"Joe?" I asked, and paused a minute while I tried to word this. "Why is there a price for your love?"

"It's not a price, cupcake. It's a compromise."

"Not when I'm the only one doing the compromising. Joe, you want me to change who I am, and I can't do that. I can't. Maybe we don't need the weekend. Maybe this is it."

"Steph, your job is dangerous." He sounded strained, like a broken record, a string tightened too much.

"So's yours. Look Joe, remember when you said that there was you, and that there was me, and that sometimes we're together, but there is no "us"? I think that's what it is. I love you. But I can't live with the restrictions you're placing on me."

"So we're done." Joe's voice was dull, tired.

"We have to be. For both our sakes. And Joe? Don't call me for a while. I need some space. We'll watch a game in a couple of weeks or something, start a friendship."

"Be safe, Cupcake. Be careful." Joe disconnected. I knew I'd hurt him. I'd hurt me too. I sniffled, and then started to cry. I couldn't help myself. Ranger's hand, which was gently caressing my arm, moved... and he gently maneuvered me until I was facing him, then pulled me to him and tucked my head in his shoulder. And I cried. Bitter tears, because I did love Joe, and I was going to miss him, and I knew my life was irrevocably changed, and because it hurt like fire that a man I loved couldn't accept me for who I was, what I was.

"Babe." Ranger said. I raised my head and lifted my eyes to him, taking in his pained expression.

"I said all that out loud, didn't I?" I sniffled.

"It's pretty tough listening to the woman I love talk about another man she loves." he shook his head slightly. "Even if she just broke up with him."

"I guess Joe was spared that. I never did get to the point of trying to explain to him that I loved you too, that I loved two men."

"Probably a good thing. It wouldn't end well between me and Morelli." Ranger noted. It was left unspoken that Morelli wouldn't have taken it well.

"Yeah." I sniffled and burrowed myself in his chest. He smelled good, and warm, and sexy...like Bulgari and crisp air and essence-of-Ranger. His hand rubbed circles on my hip, and it was doing funny things to me. And then I remembered something, and squeaked.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

I sat up, pulling away from him. "Remember when you said that if Morelli was out of my bed, you'd be back in it?"

Ranger flashed me a sly, sneaky grin. "Oh yeah."

"You're going to make good on that, aren't you?"

The grin widened. "Oh yeah." he repeated.

"It's not going to end well for either of us, is it?" I asked in a very small voice.

The mood instantly turned serious. "I'm dessert, babe, and that might be all I'll ever be able to be."

"I hate vegetables."

"You need stability." he sighed.

"I need acceptance. Respect. Love." I said. I don't think Ranger knew how to respond, because we stayed silent for a long time after that. My thoughts continued to stew.

"Ok, if I'm going to get "advice" later...can I dish out some too?" I finally asked.

Ranger sighed. "I'd rather you not. But if you must..."

"Take a chance. Quit being such a chickenshit and take a chance at a real relationship."

"My life doesn't -"

"Lend itself to relationships." I finished. "As if mine does. Just try. Be my dessert. And I'll be your freaking salad." I said, somewhat disgusted by the analogy. I didn't want to be a salad. I stayed burried in his chest on the chair. "If I wanted a normal, burg life I wouldn't have a problem quitting my job and marrying Joe, right? Who cares if you're wearing two guns and a knife. Who cares if it's not a "normal" relationship. Your note said that normal is a societal illusion. So why are you denying yourself because your life isn't normal?"

"Because it's not possible to accept my life. Who I am. What I've done." he said shortly. "And this sounds more like a lecture than advice." he groused.

"Lecture, advice, not much difference. As for your life...I have. I would. Try Ranger. Please." I wanted this man. I knew it. I loved him. I adored him. I couldn't stomach the idea of life without him. I'd known it when Scrog shot him, and I knew it now. "I love you." I whispered. "I thought I'd lost you forever. I need you. Nobody's ever made me feel as accepted, and confident as you do. And you told me -" my voice picked up in volume, "-you told me yourself that one Ranger is all I'll ever need. So make good on that, would you?"

"Babe..."

"Please?"

Ranger kissed the top of my head. "I'll try. As long as you try to exercise more caution at your job, and let me put tamper-detection devices and a good car alarm in your next vehicle."

I started to protest that request, until I realized that that was a compromise - that we'd both just requested a concession from the other. Probably, that means I should agree if I want to be free to love him. And probably, even though it seemed smothering, his alarm and extra devices were part of the caution I was supposed to exercise. Hm...I thought about it for a minute. "Ok." I said. His arms tightened around me and we lay in silence for a while.

I was dozing when he spoke again. "So you'll be my salad, huh?" he asked, humor in his voice.

"Guess so." I mumbled. "Well...maybe with extra-greasy cluck-in-a-bucket chicken strips..."

"Babe." I could feel his head shake above mine, and his chest rumbled with silent laughter. "Only you." We lapsed back into a content, peaceful silence.

"I want the ability to turn off the GPS if I want to, though." I said suddenly.

"Why?"

"Well..in case I need to...you know, go shopping for your christmas present or something."

"We'll figure out the logistics later. Right now, I need a break and so do you. GPS counts as work." I sighed an agreement and snuggled into him. His arms tightened around me and he sighed, relaxing underneath me.

"Love you." I said, as I fell asleep. I didn't hear him answer.

The sun was setting when I woke up again. Ranger was already awake, playing circles on my back with his fingers. I was plastered on top of him, again. I guess I just couldn't help myself.

"You can't resist me, babe." he laughed softly. I rolled my eyes and stretched like a cat, languorously rubbing my body against him. It felt good, and I was finally free to explore my power over him, guiltlessly.

"Babe. Not yet. Too soon." he said softly. "You've only been single for about 4 hours."

"So? I wasn't single last time we started down this road." I pointed out, thinking of the time Morelli interrupted us right before the point of no return.

"When we do this you're going to be mine. And that'll be it. And it's not going to be this weekend. Maybe Monday." Right. I guess today does seem to be a bit soon when he puts it that way. Ranger moved me aside and rolled me onto my back, pulling me back to him. I snuggled up against him and we watched the sun set together. A whole weekend of quiet. Quiet, solitude, and Ranger. No obligations. No commitments. No pressure. I breathed deeply and felt truly at peace.

I started to doze off again. I guess I really was burnt out. Thank god for Ranger. MY Ranger.

And then I thought of something. Suddenly, Monday was a long ways away. I would have bolted from the chair had Ranger's arms not locked me tightly against him. "We're sharing your bed, aren't we?"

I felt Ranger's grin in my hair. "Babe." Oh boy.


End file.
